A non-falsifiable approach to an old cliche, namely – The less-interested partner has the whip hand in the relationship

Ceremonial magic is not science.  Ceremonial magic is not even falsifiable.  Ceremonial magic claims: If you believe, and if you use a sufficiently extreme amount of candles, incense, incantations, etc., the spirits will grant your desire.  There’s no way to falsify that claim.  If a skeptic goes through the motions, of course he will fail, because he doesn’t believe sincerely.  If you believe sincerely and you still fail, you didn’t use enough candles, incense, etc.  There’s no way to prove the claim wrong. And ceremonial magicians LIKE demonstrating their dedication, so the answer to failure is always MORE EXTREME DEDICATION, never to stop and rethink the original premise.

 Recently I learned of two books that apply a similarly non-falsifiable approach to the claim that women will be lucky in love if only they demonstrate enough extreme self-confidence.


A oft-repeated cliche of dating advice is: the partner who wants the relationship less has more power over the relationship.

A horrible woman has taken this cliche and stretched it out into not one, but TWO books.

Taken from “Why Men Love Bitches”:

Your time with him is telling. The nice girl sits in a chair after a week of knowing the guy, bored out of her mind as he does something that interests him. He may be watching sports on TV, cleaning his fishing gear, strumming his guitar, or working on his car.

She is miserable but doesn’t say a peep. Instead, she tries to make the best of it and twiddles her thumbs politely, just so she can be in his company.

The bitch, on the other hand, makes plenty of peeps. In fact, she is bitching the whole way through. This is not a bad thing, because then he knows he can’t walk all over her. But remember, a mental challenge has little to do with being verbally combative. It has to do with your actions and how much of yourself you are willing to give up. For example, he says he likes blondes. You have dark skin, dark eyes, and black hair. The next time he sees you, you’ve bleached your hair and dyed your eyebrows to match. Translation?
He’ll sense he has a 100 percent hold on you.

In other words, the woman must be proud of herself, and must not give up any part of her ego to keep the man around. (The woman must be remarkably attractive if men are willing to endure her egotism just to bask in the glow of her presence.  When a woman treats her date like this, unless the man is very lonely or the woman in question is a supermodel, the man will figure out that he’s not wanted and take his leave.)

The following chart shows behaviors that will demonstrate a woman’s self-confidence.


I am a big fan of positive thinking, but I believe it has limits. I think most women who push it to the extreme will not be happy with the results. But this book pushes positive thinking to the point of solipsism:

By that reasoning, an ugly woman could have a hundred failed dates, and keep telling herself, “The problem isn’t my looks.  The problem is that I’m not confident enough. The possibility that the woman might be overconfident, and might have set unrealistic goals, is never considered.

Of course, there is a sequel: “Why Men Marry Bitches.”

It starts off with :

“Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. …When I polled men, they al said confident women are in very short supply. And that a confident woman is what they find sexiest. Is it any wonder that confident women are hard to come by?”

It just goes on like that. Self-confidence is supposed to be the key to success in all matters. Little details like age and life experience are glossed over in a delusional manner. I used to criticize paperback New Age books for promising too much, too vaguely, but ceremonial magic looks like chemical engineering when compared to this stuff.

Just in case it wasn’t clear, confident women are NOT hard to come by. There are a lot of women that are so very confident that men avoid them no matter how physically attractive they are. No sane man is eager to sign up for servitude to a woman who is always in charge. There are plenty of megalomaniacs running businesses – they pay better than wives, and they let you go home at the end of the day.

2 thoughts on “A non-falsifiable approach to an old cliche, namely – The less-interested partner has the whip hand in the relationship”

  1. The confidence thing works to an extent. If you think of yourself as an awkward, creepy weirdo, people will probably treat you as such. Acting too selflessly is also a great way to never get a job or respect… However, I’m not sure it works with attraction. What it will do, is show people they can’t use you, and filter away all the users, leaving only people you can be soft with. And that’s a much better end goal than bossing a man around all the time.


Comments Might Work, But We Won't Know Until You Try

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s