How to date an incel

The first thing to understand is that an incel is not necessarily a virgin.

If the incel has never had a girl before, he will PEDESTALIZE.

See the below comic for an explanation – click it if it’s not big enough to read:


So … your chances are good if you start with a virgin. Then, AFTER you dump him, he can start reading bitter MGTOW blogs, and eventually he will write his own story of how you broke his heart.

You want a good incel?

Go to your friendly local gaming store.

If you have a lot of old, cheap Magic: the Gathering cards, just sew them together into a dress and show up smiling like this:

You’ll be neck-deep in incel masculinity before you can say “Tap me for a point of colorless mana. Snort, snort, ‘tap me’ is a pun, or play on words…” Be careful, they may try to rotate each card 90 degrees.

Now, most of the females in the Friendly Local Gaming Store are going to be fat …


… or elderly …

…or both – so they won’t be much competition.

Bear in mind, that the Friendly Local Gaming Store might already have a bunch of unmarried teenage girls in it, but they will probably look no better than this:


If you show up wearing a dress made of Magic cards, you’ll upstage those little hussies.

If you don’t have a bunch of old Magic cards, but you do know how to play D&D, just dress up like you would for a LARP, pretty much like this:


But maybe you don’t LARP, in which case, you might want to dress like this:

or like this:


Okay, so you’ve managed to dress up in an attention-getting manner.

You don’t actually have to dress up in a costume. If you normally dress like the picture below, you can just show up in your ordinary clothing.


Or you can go with an understated look – just put a little bit of masking tape on the bridge of your eyeglasses, and smile elegantly:
nerd girl

But somehow, you have to show up and make eye contact with a nerd,
and say, “I really want a boyfriend with a powerful D&D character.”

Then when a guy tries to hit on you, tell him, “Hah, I bet your D&D character would totally get killed if he got hit with Mage’s Disjunction.”

Then just keep pointing and laughing at him until you completely ruin his capacity to trust or empathize with his fellow human beings. Don’t worry, it won’t take much effort. If he’s incel, he’s probably halfway to Crazytown already. He’s probably heavily armed, and ready to snap. If that turns you on, just look for a guy that looks like this:


But if you can get into his pants before he goes on his killing spree, soon you and he will be snuggled up together just like this:


Now, whatever you do, when you’re in the Friendly Local Gaming Store, don’t try to hit on the voluntary celibates. These enlightened souls have already been burned by real women, and they have learned than 2D girls are better than 3D girls. You can spot them if you try to grope them, or rub your boobs onto them, but they dodge you, muttering, “Three-Dee Pig Disgusting.”


Voluntary celibates make gamer girls wet, just like pseudo-bicurious-pseudo-lesbian porn gets men excited. It’s the lure of forbidden fruit, the thrill of the chase. Don’t chase a voluntary celibate, especially not the ultra-suave boy who can play dating simulations. He will break your heart, and then go back to playing a handheld game while his manly-but-elegant ascot flutters in the breeze.

GC Keima


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